An Existential Wine Crisis

I’ve been in Argentina, more specifically BA for over a week and my wine drinking, tasting and sniffing has been slowed, if not halted all together by my evil palate killing cold. Even so my wine knowledge and so called “expert palate” has been rigorously questioned and put to the test by friends and family members alike. On-the-spot, gun-to-your-head, so what is this? What kind of quality is it? And can you really tell where it’s forms. You know, the usual interrogation a sommelier is forced to endure under any wine involved circumstance, even when dying of the flu and so plugged up they can barley breath.

The “traditional wine world” skeptics unite and gather around unsuspecting sommeliers with vicious intent to trip them up and prove that this whole wine expert stuff is all a bunch of snobbery designed to extract money from wine fools. Wordy wine lingo, elaborate cork popping rituals, and almost illegible bottle labels are only adding to their suspicions.

Are these skeptics right? Is my wine education nothing but a sham? What is an expert palate anyways? How do you acquire one? Is it even possible to acquire such a skill? Do you have to be born with this magical, and for some fictitious gift? Is it something that can be developed over time, by intensely pondering and over analyzing every drop to pass through your lips? Should wine even be drunk with such scrutiny, or are we missing out on the true essence of wine by simply forgetting to drink it?

On top of all these existential wine questions there have been some great debates stirring about the household as of late, from screw caps and wine quality to the rapidly changing trends in wine. Most have been accompanied, like any good wine debate, by a few bottles of the loaded elixir it’s self.

We judge each sip as if gossiping over the headlines of any good rag mag. Whether it’s the trashy Britney Spears tetra packaged plunk for 2 pesos “Will Britney Make a Career Come Back or Has She Gone Too Far?”, the wild Lindsey Lohan fruit bomb full of sassy spice “Lynsey Out of Control Partying Again! How Much More Can Her Fans Take?” or the mature likes of the timeless sophistication and subtlety of Sophia Lauren “How much
Plastic Surgery Has Sophia Really Had? Famed Hollywood Doctor Tells All!” We all have a wonderfully biased opinion. I guess the question is what’s your flavor? If you can’t choose who you love does love then choose you?

All these questions are spiraling around my foggy and congested head. I don’t think I will ever be able to fully commit to an answer to any of these luring questions. Like love, lust and passion it’s all in the eye of the beholder. For some it’s merely about finding the flavor of the month, and for others it’s a quest to uncover a divine concoction they can relish for years to come. This moving wine target seems to be where the intrigue begins, that most often climaxes into a love affair you can’t ignore.